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Health & Fitness

Terry Flanagan: A Great Jug of Wine, a Tasty Slice of Pizza, and a Bad Entertainer—Why Do Good Restaurants Do This To Us?

Please don't send in the clowns.

Thursdays we head to our favorite pizza place—Monterey Place. The pizza is great, the service is terrific, and the wine is 10 dollars off per bottle. What more could one ask? Imagine my surprise when I learned the answer to that question was a '60s trivia contest emceed by a comic, and I use the term loosely, portraying a character known as The Old Hippie. Cheech and Chong it ain’t.

I assume that most people go to a restaurant for the food and drink, and that entertainment of this quality is better served up at places like Chuck E. Cheese, where the clientele is a little less discerning.  But I’m not a restaurateur so I could be wrong about this. Maybe people really do want their meals interrupted by some lame party entertainer.

Despite the less-than-enthusiastic crowd last week, our genial comedian gamely proceeded on with his act. He then handed out business cards and flyers after his routine mercifully came to an end, assuming that at least some of us would be irrational enough to actually want to pay him money to entertain at social events. He also does Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Johnny the Pirate, to name a few. Quite a wide-ranging and unusual repertoire when you think about it. Unfortunately, or fortunately, as the case may be, we did not get to experience the entire range of his thespian talents.

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I'm always puzzled as to why restaurant owners continue to hire these acts when they almost never work out. It usually takes a week or two before the “entertainment” is gone and the regulars are coming back. But what makes owners ever think this is a good way to spend their money? Did a restaurant critic suggest that their establishment was lacking a clown or magic act? Was there an episode of Kitchen Nightmares in which Chef Gordon Ramsay gently chides a restaurant owner in usual fashion for failing to hire a no-talent act to harass his customers? Or are they under duress to hire a friend or family member whose act is so bad that even Simon Cowell would be left speechless?

Maybe some people like this kind of stuff, but I prefer to be able to eat and carry on a conversation without being pestered by someone coming up to the table and attempting to engage me in some silly game. What’s next? Some insurance salesman pulling up a chair to my table and going over life insurance policies and annuities while I'm trying to decide on the eggplant or chicken cacciatore? If I want to be annoyed at dinner, I’ll invite the in-laws. 

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I’m hoping that the owner comes to his senses and decides to end the Thursday evening experiment. He really doesn’t need it. People come there for the food, the service, and the ambience. And let’s not forget the discount on the wine on Thursdays.

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