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You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine: Weird Crime 2012

Nothing says "I love you" like dragging you under my car • Afternoon delight ends with Miranda Rights • I Just Called 83 Times to Say I Love You, Or Else ... Weird Crime of the Southland 2012.

Precious and few are the moments we two can share, sang the band Climax, but the following precious moments from the Patch files are more crazy, stupid love. Or just plain crazy and stupid.

Just a Hunka-Hunka Burning Love: A 23-year-old Tinley Park mom is spending Christmas in jail, accused of running her boyfriend over with a car and dragging him through the street on Dec. 14, leaving him with injuries so severe doctors needed to surgically repair his burnt scrotum. The 21-year-old man was walking to the home of his girlfriend, Christine A. Meyers, after drinking at JW Hollstein's on Oak Park Avenue. As he crossed 175th Street, a car sped through a stop sign and struck him, police said. His legs were caught under the car and he was dragged along the street until he broke free. His girlfriend's mom drove him to the hospital. The boyfriend told police he didn't know who ran him down and didn't want to press charges if they happened to find the driver. On Tinley Park Patch 

The Nasty Backside of Afternoon Delight: A 49-year-old cop found himself in handcuffs after an afternoon of sex play went awry in Oak Forest, according to police. Lorenzo C. Rice, 49, was charged with domestic battery following a Nov. 17 complaint in which a woman claimed he choked her with a belt after she refused to fulfill a special request. Police called to an apartment building on 159th Street learned that Rice invited a friend to his apartment for a tryst. At first, she gave him what he asked for, but we imagine she was thinking "I can't believe I'm doing this to him" when she stopped and tried to leave. After Rice wrapped a belt around her neck, she told police, she threw a video game controller at him and escaped to call for help. The cops let Rice change out of his pajamas before they took him into custody and took the belt as evidence. On Oak Forest Patch

Call Me Maybe, Call Me Relentless: A Chicago woman called her ex-boyfriend 83 times between 12:46 a.m. and 2:47 a.m. on Aug. 8, capping off the two-hour session of unrequited love with a text that read: For yo best interest u beta pick up yo (expletive deleted) phone," according to police. Gabrielle J. Bridgemon, 24, was arrested in Chicago Heights and charged with criminal damage to property and harassment after the ex told police she followed up her text with a visit to his home and kicked the door repeatedly. On Chicago Heights Patch

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Doug Van Tol December 23, 2012 at 11:56 PM
"Precious and few are the moments" -- that's from the song "Precious and Few" which was recorded by the band Climax, not by the Climax Blues Band. It's an easy mistake.
Dennis Robaugh December 24, 2012 at 05:11 AM
You are so right. Thanks for the correct info.
TP Karen December 25, 2012 at 01:41 PM
Still pretty funny, Dennis!
Pat O December 25, 2012 at 03:24 PM
That text was so funny. I can't imagine why he would have dumped her;)
Mike Fangman December 25, 2012 at 06:37 PM
Lorenzo Rice was "looking for love in all the wrong places".

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