If I’d known I could’ve turned your taunts, jeers, epithets, insults, barbs, mockery and general derision into gold, I would have headed down that yellow brick road years ago.
Those of you who also read my Monday and Wednesday Geneva Patch columns know that, just in the last couple a months worth of comments, I’ve been called a “jerk,” labeled a liberal, suggested as being gay, been told I’m terribly insecure, had my intelligence repeatedly questioned, was criticized for being intemperate (that one’s probably true), and virtually accused of beating small children.
My response to all that bleep has generally been, “And I love you, too.”
But apparently, what I should’ve done is had my wife whip out her cell phone, record a video of me weeping and gnashing my teeth in response, post it on YouTube, and sit back while all of you send me some serious cash!
Who knew there was that much money in being a victim?
I’m sure you’ve all heard about the 68-year-old Rochester, NY, area school bus monitor who endured a rather repugnant stream of profanity, insults and ridicule from four seventh-graders until she finally broke down.
Having no concept of the word “consequences,” one of the impertinent little darlings posted a cell phone video of the entire event on Facebook, titled "Making the School Bus Monitor Cry." And then all hell broke loose.
Before we continue, let me clearly state for the record that no one—not even middle-schoolers—should treat a fellow human being with that kind of contempt.
But the truth is, when left to their own devices, seventh-graders sometimes can be a rather nasty bunch. This is why you should never listen to anything a 13-year-old has to say. Don’t they still make you to read The Lord of the Flies in high school?
Please also understand that I have a great deal of sympathy for this woman, and I wish I had been there to put a swift and severe end to the taunting, but as Dear Abby frequently likes to remind us, you’re only a doormat as much as you let yourself be one.
You see, my fondest wish for anyone that’s managed to make it to the venerable age of 68 is that they’ve developed a reasonably thick skin and the capacity to deal with bullies, even if they’re a pack of pre-pubescent morons.
Had I dared attempt anything like that with one of those St. Nick’s sexagenarian nuns, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now, because I’d be deceased, and my parents would’ve congratulated Sister Camilla for taking me out.
What bothers me about this whole thing isn’t those clueless seventh-graders, but our reaction to what they did.
Why hasn’t anyone pointed a finger at the transportation company that darn well knew a school bus is the equivalent of a mobile combat zone? They’re the ones who set up this sad scenario by hiring someone who couldn’t handle the job.
Then there’s a bus driver who was also aware of the collateral damage seventh-graders can wreak and could’ve intervened.
Even worse, in addition to an international outpouring of support and death threats against the 13-year-old perps, a Canadian man with the best of intentions set up a fund to raise $5,000 to send the berated bus monitor to Disney World. As of now, that fund stands at over $600,000!
We do love our victims, don’t we. Though I don’t begrudge her 1 cent, I can’t help but think how all that money could’ve helped the real victims of child abuse, natural disasters and childhood diseases.
This whole story reminded me of Air Force pilot Scott O’Grady who, after being shot down over Serbia in 1995, became an instant celebrity. But I found myself thinking, “Wait a minute. Isn’t this the guy who couldn’t correctly apply countermeasures and had to bail out? Shouldn’t we be celebrating the pilots who actually accomplished their mission?"
So, why aren’t we rewarding the bus monitors who effectively do their job?
This is how this whole non-story should’ve gone.
When I first moved west, much to the delight of his minions, a St. Charles school bus miscreant leaned out the window and repeatedly spit on my car at a stoplight. Then they all started shouting all sorts of unintelligible nonsense at me.
Issuing no reaction whatsoever, I determined what row the middle schooler was sitting in, got the bus number, called the bus company, and then called the principal. Long story short, the spitter and his cohorts folded like cheap suits and were banned from the bus for two weeks.
Case closed. Considering all the current havoc in the world (see Syria), this is the incident that finally gets our goat?
I’m not advocating the law of the jungle, and bullying should never be tolerated in any school. But part of the growing-up process should include the preparation for those inevitable intimidation outbreaks, because the truth is, there are bullies everywhere in the adult world, and when we meet up with them, we’re on our own.
I understand this bus monitor didn’t ask for a cent of that money, but the real lesson here seems to be, in light of a hardship, don’t bother to become a better person, because if you become a victim instead, it can really pay off.
So go ahead, start making those nasty comments. My wife's got her cell phone ready, and I am—literally—counting on it.
Thanks! And not to worry. I'm already warming up the camcorder for my complete breakdown upon the first even slightly negative comment. I'm gonna be rich! Jeff
It should be cheered, as it shows that as a culture, the people are the hope for the future, and not the politicians, the investment banks, or the need for taxes- this was all done through private donations, if I read your article correctly. Just imagine the problems we could tackle if we get politicians out of the way, and we pick ourselves up by our own bootstraps and begin the hard work. Seems like if we can find $600,000 for her, we can do anything!
I, too, wondered what else could have been done with those contributions of cash. For instance, there is family from the district in which I used to teach, whose eighth grade son was hit by a car 17 weeks ago. He returns home this weekend, unaware of his parents, his two and three year old sisters, or his surroundings, with myriad meds, and a feeding tube. Recovery, whatever it may be, is a long, hard road for all of them. They need to equip their home, vehicles and lives to accommodate the tragedy that has happened to all of them. His mom can no longer work. She needs to take care of her son. (If you notice orange ribbons in the Downers, Woodridge, Darien area, they are there in support of this young family whose lives have been changed forever.) I wish that $600,000 had been donated to Hope for Hunter (There is a Facebook page that coordinates various fund raisers - and the heartfelt prayers of friends and strangers.) I feel sorry for that bus monitor. Those kids are reprehensible. I just think that a little perspective might be in order.
Ain't that the truth. It's like buying an indulgence in the Catholic church. Jeff
That would be the right thing to do! Jeff
I've watched that video end to end three times. I've read virtually every major news account about it including the follow ups where two of the boys and two of the parents apologized. I've watched all the interviews with the bus monitor. When left unchecked, this is exactly the kind of thing that happens on middle school busses. That's why they have bus monitors! There was a recent story out of Indiana about what some boys were doing to girls on the bus that makes this one pale in comparison. As I watched the entire video, I couldn't help but thing why the person who's very job it is to stop this kind of thing did nothing to stop it. At 68 you really oughtta be able to stand up for yourself. Sadly, this kind of thing happens every day on school buses. And in the grand scheme of mans brutality to man on this planet, there are some much more heinous things that we completely ignore. Sometimes perspective is more important. Jeff
You, sir, should stick to writing post-it notes!
Ain't that kinda obvious? If no one collected money for this woman then there would be no column because there would have been no point to the column. Jeff
I'm not trashing Captain O'Grady - I'm trashing the people that made the guy who failed a hero over all the other pilots who managed to stay in the air. And your theory about the Serbs co-opting the ECM capabilities of a the F-16 is pure bunk. Not only is the ECM pod not nearly the only countermeasure against a SAM, but they would've shot down a heck of a lot more planes if it were true. I would encourage you to stick to reading post-it notes! Jeff
People who felt compassion for this woman enough to want to voluntarily give her some money are a bunch of idiots because it was this ladies own fault for getting a job where she should expect to be harassed and bullied? I am sorry Jeff maybe I am not as cynical as you are but I feel this story should make us want to applaud the better angels of our nature instead of trying top find fault with people who try to do the right thing.
A little touchy are we? I don't remember accusing you of buying one - I was simply using that practice as an historical reference. Not that the Catholic Church has ever engaged in any other questionable practice. Jeff
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, but as some other readers pointed out, that money could've done so much more good than go to someone who hasn't figured out how to stand up for herself at 68 years of age. If it were really our better angels and not just misplaced pity our guilt, we'd be giving our money to some of the causes some readers have already listed. I simply can't understand why, when whole villages in Syria are being massacred, this is the story that captures our attention. So I have to wonder what that says about us. Jeff
Again, I don't condone this behavior at all, but this woman was obviously not cut out for this job. What if the behavior was toward another student? Would she still just sit there? My guess is lots of inappropriate behavior was going on during these bus rides that was left unchecked. This is something to remember the next time someone thinks teachers make "easy money" . -Kelly
Of course, Ward being Ward, he knows exactly how the situation should have been handled, and he knows the victim is to blame, and he knows she doesn't deserve even a moment of sympathy, let alone the money. This is where you've sunk to, Ward?
The main thing, as I stated in the column is, I would've had the bus company train her far better. It doesn't matter what power she had, what matters is comportment. One of my good friends is a school bus driver and those kids know she won't take any crap so no crap happens. Another point a teacher friend made was, they only put bus monitors on buses where there are problems because it costs more money to do so. You have to be prepared to go into that situation. Jeff
Exactly! And those boys did walk away Scott free. They were suspended from the school for one year which ain't exactly small potatoes. Jeff
However, in this instance, I can envision the scenario if the bus driver had stopped the bus and addressed the situation. How much would you wager that the parents when told,would have defended their darlings? I submit that had the episode not been recorded, the punishment meted out would not have been as harsh. It had to take a viral video and the reaction of an outraged public to bring about the result. Isn't that sad?