Apparently the fascinating folks in Mill Creek chose to ignore my advice to secede from the Union and form their very own country we would call Millcreekia. Ah well, though the rebellion may not be forthcoming, I still say those non-Genevans are revolting.
Perhaps the reason for the recent relative calm is the Battle of Northwest Millcreekia is virtually over, with Kent Shodeen coming out as the clear winner. There will be apartments on Keslinger Road!
So let’s review, class!
The reason for my recent spate of columns on our unincorporated neighbors to the west is their virulent reaction to the prospect of 390 high-end apartment units coming into the Richardson Electronics border of their subdivision.
You’d a thunk someone told those housewives they weren’t making blond hair color anymore.
That open space had been reserved for 210,000 square feet of retail, but with the economic handwriting on the wall, Shodeen Management knew it was a non-starter. However, noting the foreclosure trend had sent rental rates soaring, he decided to make multi-unit hay while the leased sun was shining.
Of course, what I tried to tell those shrieking subdivisionites was, perhaps Shodeen was asking for 390 units in the hope of coming out with 190. And if they played their political cards right, they could cut that development in half.
But did they listen to me? Nope! So now they’re stuck with 290 units because they spent far too much time howling about conspiracy theories and making specious anti-apartment arguments. We’ve already covered a few of their curious contentions, such as, that apartments breed a lack of ownership, a higher crime rate, and they’re not in line with the community.
But even after they chafed at my assertion, those statements were Mill Creek code for “we really don’t want to have to live with apartment-dwelling minorities” they couldn’t even behave themselves at the second public hearing.
One millcreekian demanded that Shodeen conduct background checks on each and every rental applicant while another said she didn’t want “those people” walking around her neighborhood.
Pray tell exactly what are “those people?”
Now, I’m not sayin’ every millcreekian is prejudiced, but I’d be willing to bet the majority of ‘em have said something along the lines of, “I can’t be a racist! Some of my best friends are Hispanic!”
If the mere prospect of apartments terrifies these eminently fragile folks, just wait till they get a load of this one! The Aug. 11 Chronicle reported that the 2010 to 2011 census data shows, for the first time in Kane County history, more children were born to minority parents than to Caucasian couples.
Though this majority-minority transition is taking place all over this vast country, this is one instance in which Kane County is ahead of the curve! As it stands now, 46 percent of Kane County children in the 0-to-4 age group are Hispanic, 7.5 percent are African American, 3.6 percent are Asian, and 40 percent are white.
So even if you throw in those coveted Asians, white children under the age of 5 are now in the minority out here! What that really means is, all things considered equal, in 14 short years we’ll be the minority, as well.
When I say “we’ll,” I ain’t talking about columnists—you’ve seen my picture!
And I’m betting the side effects of this population drift will be particularly fascinating to watch.
Bilingualism will become the norm, driven by local businesses who don’t see black, white or brown, they only see green. When it comes down to getting customers in the door, everyone’s a liberal.
Because the local GOP insists upon fighting among themselves and national Republicans can’t help alienating Latino voters, Kane will become a Democratic county in a little more than a decade.
Local Catholic churches, whose congregations currently look like a Gray Panther get together, will likely rebound with the influx of new Hispanic blood.
Will white folks start screaming for affirmative action?
Call me crazy, but we might even have to face something as outrageous as the prospect of a Hispanic judge being appointed to the 16th Circuit Court.
But the scariest possibility would have to be, should the middle class survive, more Hispanics will be moving into that stratum, which means more of them will be moving into Mill Creek! So if you folks aren’t about to secede from the country (and I fervently hope you’re still considering it), you might want to take the time to pick up a little Spanish.
I’d start with “Bienvenido al barrio.”