This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.

Health & Fitness

Parenting 101: And Another Thing ... 2 More Suggestions on Self-Discipline

Follow-up to recent post on "Helping Your Children to develop Self-Discipline"

Sometimes a day or two after I've posted a blog I re-read it and think, "Sheesh, M'Liss ... a little bit heavy handed!"

Lest you surmise that I believe I'm a perfect parent or that I raised two perfect children, let me cite a couple of incidents.

First, when my son was still in a high chair and we were out to dinner, he started a screaming hissy-fit. Clearly, this was not a good time to practice sitting quietly in a restaurant. I went to the cashier, holding my "precious screamer," and asked if I could have someone switch our order to "to go" and total the bill, while I went outside so my son could howl if he needed to or I could calm him—whatever it took. 

Yes, we missed the loveliness of being waited upon, having the dishes washed for us, etc.  Fortunately, we weren't sitting with friends—it was just my son, my then-husband and I at the table.  

Find out what's happening in Genevawith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Chris was old enough that when we got home, we could talk about how I should have brought snacks because he was really, really hungry. (This kid told multi-sentence stories by his send birthday! His brains clearly come from his father's side of the gene pool. I'm the Mama who frequently had no tissues for runny noses and no snacks for precocious 2-year-olds.)

Lesson: Purposeful parenting includes a well-stocked diaper bag or kid kit. Purposeful parenting includes assessing the child's level of hunger and energy. Mine was hungry and tired. I shouldn't have tried taking him out to dinner in the first place.  

Find out what's happening in Genevawith free, real-time updates from Patch.

Second, when my son and daughter were pre-teens (which means hormonal as all get out, but not given "credit" for that), they chose to have a full-blown argument in my car.  I had "suggested" they settle their differences while we were still in the house, but somehow while they had seemed to settle it, it flared again in the car. The decibel level (as my darlings knew all too well) was beyond what I could tolerate. (Have I mentioned I'm extremely sensitive to yelling? I hate it!) 

So, about five blocks from the house, I pulled over and said (not yelled), "Get out of my car." Both were dumb-struck. They really didn't think I was serious and planned to enforce it. But I have red hair to go with my Irish stubbornness (or is it Swedish stubbornness? It's somewhere in my heritage!)

So my 12-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter were reminded they had house keys and were sent on their way. Of course, I was sufficiently upset that tears started streaming once they were out of the car. That's what it took for ME to get over it.

Lesson: Purposeful Parenting really requires consistency and a parent who gets respected as well as a child who gets respected. ("You may scream all you want as you walk home. You may not scream in my car.")

The important message from me is that we will not raise children who are perfect, unless we count "perfectly human." However, with respect and planning, we can find a little less strife and a little more joy in our homes.

Live inspired!

We’ve removed the ability to reply as we work to make improvements. Learn more here

The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?