Road Bikers Bring it on Themselves!

It annoys me to no end that I have to come out of my self-imposed journalistic retirement to write this, but sometimes some of you folks give me no other choice.

You see, last summer I gave up road biking for two reasons. One, running was going so well that I wanted to try it full-time and, two, I was so sick of seeing how badly my road-biking brethren behaved that I needed a break from their particular brand of abject stupidity.

Think about it! When someone of my base moral turpitude feels the need to take this kind of stand it really says something.

Since no 54 year-old should go directly from 8:30 to 7:45 cruising miles with no stops in between, a moderate case of shin splints put me back on the bike for the first time in two years.

And all it took was a bleepin’ half mile before I witnessed the kind of foolishness  that makes me wonder if road bikers’ IQs are even smaller than their shoe size.

While westbound on Beith Road, I noticed a group of cyclists circling through the Anderson Road intersection, the net effect of which was, of course, to block all vehicular traffic.

This display went on until the laggards, doing a leisurely 12 mph, came into view riding three across and making no effort to get out of the way of the workman’s van directly behind them.

Then some cyclists have the nerve to moan and whine incessantly whenever any driver goes out of their way to disrespect them.

As the van pulled up to the stop sign, I paused to say, “Please understand that some road bikers aren't the kind of [expletive deleted] idiots that this group obviously is. Given the eternally entitled nature of my carbon fiber compatriots, it was no surprise when two of the women riders looked at me as if I was nuts.

Meanwhile, the patient workman laughed and drove one.

Back in my halcyon columnist days I did my damndest to support road bikers and get them to understand that, though there’s no excuse for nefarious motorists, it was they themselves who frequently courted the kind of misfortune they just love to complain about.

Since that effort was obviously in vain, it’s time to take it two steps further.

And the first step is to call out the local bike shop owners who are responsible for most of the larger and regular group rides. While their ceaseless support of their customers’ endeavors is understandable, that doesn’t make their sudden silence about rogue riders right.

We’ll start with Mill Race Cyclery owner Brad Heidlauf who’s probably the least culpable in all this. But that doesn’t absolve him either. As a regular sponsor of the annual Geneva bike race Brad, you have the perfect pulpit from with to preach better biking behavior.

It’s time to start using it!

Then there's Sammy’s Bikes in St. Charles. Sammy, there isn’t nearly enough space on all of Patch to provide a laundry list of the interesting things I see whenever I come across one of your Saturday morning Tour de Farms rides.

In fact, from having met you, I’m reasonably sure it was you at the helm of the Saturday morning (7/6) cycling group that instigated the need to write this column.

If that was the case, then nice work sir!

Despite one reasonable rider’s best efforts, the Tuesday/Thursday night Bicycle Heaven training rides do their very best to piss off half of Campton Hills in the process. And owner Ara Oggoian, the first one to call out an offensive motorist, really oughtta fricken’ know better.

And this brings us to the worst offender, Batavia’s Prairie Path Cycles owner Mike Farrell. And I say the worst because Mike more than makes up for his diminutive size with his no-holds-barred defense of all riders all the time.

In fact, I would advise any motorists who comes across Mike on the road to avoid incurring his wrath.

To be fair, when he leads a group, rogue riding isn’t tolerated. But when you’re as outspoken an advocate as he is, that isn’t nearly enough. Because if you don’t hold yourself and your charges to the same standard you expect of others, then we have a problem.

Though it’s about time for a road biker called these gentlemen out, I’m not nearly stupid enough to sit back and rely on their good graces (or lack of them).

In the not-so-distant past, I’ve repeatedly talked capable Campton Hills Police Chief Dan Hoffman out of installing some rigorous Barrington Hills-esque bicycling rules in that glorious riding municipality.

But no more.

On Monday, I will call him to explain that, after what I saw on Saturday, it’s time to put the legal hammer down. And I will follow up with a personal appearance at a Campton Hills city council meeting where I will advocate for the kind of ordinances and fines that will make bad road biking behavior a truly losing proposition.

And when it's a road biker who explains that a village needs to take the biking bull by the horns, they’re much more likely to listen.

Then it’s on to Elburn, South Elgin, Maple Park, Sugar Grove, Sycamore, Burlington, and all the others. I may not have much to show for eight years of column writing, but I do have a relationship with nearly every police chief and mayor in the county. 

It’s time to hold this growing number of road biking idiots accountable, and if bike shop owners don’t have the good sense to do it, then I will.