The guantlet has been thrown.
My youngest daughter has initiated the first-ever Nagel-McGorty-Williams-Krause holiday sartorial challenge: Who can wear the ugliest holiday sweater on Christmas Eve?
She's very good at these things, my daughter. She has obtained her ugly sweater, and she's actually in the process of making it uglier still. She is sewing. She is decorating with bobbles and bangles and beads. She is already doing a victory dance, talking trash, slamming her palms against her chest and saying, "Welcome to Canada, punk!"
I'm not sure what that means, but I suspect that I'm in trouble.
My daughter has every advantage in this competition: talent, youth, energy and drive. But I've got one thing she doesn't: I've got you.
Please help me find the ugliest of all possible holiday sweaters. If you see one on eBay or at a garage sale, let me know. If you've got one you're dying to get rid of, shoot me an e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. Add a comment to this article. Write smoke signals in the sky during the day or bat signals at night—I don't care how you do it, just let me know.
And if you've got the perfect ugly holiday sweater and you don't want to part with it, feel free to mock me by posting a picture with this article.
As I write this, there are 31 days left until Christmas Eve.
Let the ugly-sweater games begin.