Oh, where to begin. I suppose with Lord save me from all conspiracy theorists of the inflated-head variety.
In a "journalistic" response to my chicken-related blog, I was accused of master-minding a vast chicken-wing conspiracy. This accusation was based on comments on my husband's Facebook page (creepy) and my own desire to have Geneva allow backyard chickens. All I really have to say is this: There is no chicken-wing conspiracy.
Unfortunately, the accusation of the conspiracy completely overtook the comments section of the article in question. No worries, chicken fans and foes. I have facts, and unlike opinions (among other things), only people who read and research have those.
Firstly, chickens are not loud. Hens produce sounds at about 63 decibels. (Ahem, fact!) That's about the noise of two people talking. (Facts are fun!) Oh, and here's the wiki on that. Other sources list hens between 60 and 70 decibels. For the sake of comparison, since we don't all think in decibels, here is a helpful list (of facts!)
Here is a list of common noises and their decibel levels:
- Aircraft at take-off (180)
- Fireworks (140)
- Snowmobile (120)
- Chain saw (110)
- Amplified music (110)
- Lawn mower (90)
- Noisy office (90)
- Vacuum cleaner (80)
- City traffic (80)
- Normal conversation (60)
- Refrigerator humming (40)
- Whisper (20)
- Leaves rustling (10)
- Calm breathing (10)
Source (Oh em gee, a source!! A source of facts!)
But dear God, the filth! Oh those filthy, filthy chickens. Chickens are so filthy that it takes six of them to produce the same amount of excrement as a dog. Or a really bad attempt at journalism with a side of cyber-creeping, topped with utterly lunatic conclusions. Ok, it might take more than 6 chickens to come up with that.
"So while the rest of us are screaming at the city to keep costs down, now code enforcers are supposed to deal with rogue chicken coops? Yes! The city could always implement some sort of chicken husbandry charge, but considering that Batavia’s had all of seven applications, it would have to be one heck of a fee to make it worth their while."
I really love this one. So is it that seven is too many to enforce, or that seven is not enough to make an annual fee cover the cost? And what cost, exactly, are we talking about here? Unless the city is considering inspecting every dog-owner's yard for poop, I don't see why they would need to inspect each and every chicken coop for same.
"When we stepped out of that primordial forest to band together in settlements, we chose to give up certain facets of our solitary life in exchange for the benefits of a shared existence. And if I recall correctly, one of those things was chickens."
You, dear "journalist," recall incorrectly. People in settlements had, and still have, chickens. I am not even going to provide a helpful link to back up that fact (there is that pesky word again) or quote any sort of statistic. Because duh, that's why.
So bottom line, you can attack me, attack bloggers, and accuse me of crazy unbelievable conspiracies to promote my chicken-loving agenda, but it doesn't change the facts (!) of the case.
Chickens are not a problem in an urban setting.