Although I do love all things "patchy," I might have to make an exception for "patchy frost," which by the way would be a very bad name for an exotic dancer.

Our good friends at the National Weather Service—Chicago have issued a Hazardous Weather Outlook for Kane and the surrounding area.

First, there is a moderate chance of rip currents along both the Illinois and Indiana shores of Lake Michigan. I wasn't sure what a rip current was, but I figured anything with RIP in it couldn't be good, so I looked it up.

Turns out, according to the National Weather Service's rip-currents overview, "rip currents are the leading surf hazard for all beachgoers. They are particularly dangerous for weak or non-swimmers. Rip current speeds are typically 1-2 feet per second. However, speeds as high as 8 feet per second have been measured—this is faster than an Olympic swimmer can sprint! Thus, rip currents can sweep even the strongest swimmer out to sea."

So rip currents are bad news, obviously. But the good news is that not too many of us will be swimming, because it's going to be FREEZING COLD!

"TEMPERATURES ACROSS NORTHERN ILLINOIS AWAY FROM THE LAKE WILL FALL INTO THE 30S TONIGHT AND MAY BRING THE POTENTIAL FOR PATCHY FROST TO DEVELOP IN LOCALIZED AREAS," the NWS says.

Overnight low temperatures will be in the 30s again on Thursday night / Friday morning.

"THIS WILL ONCE AGAIN SUPPORT THE POTENTIAL FOR PATCHY FROST ACROSS THESE AREAS THROUGH EARLY FRIDAY MORNING."

(I'm sure I am winning big points from Patch HQ right now for concocting the cheesiest subliminal marketing campaign in the whole grand history of planet Earth. At least it comes at no cost. Please pay no attention to the words inside parentheses.)

I'm sorry, but weren't we just sending out heat warnings?

And, of course, you don't need me to tell you this, because ...

COMPLETE FORECAST INFORMATION IS AVAILABLE ON THE NWS CHICAGO WEBPAGE: WEATHER.GOV/CHICAGO